Sunday, July 16, 2006
to yy
hai. since i complain no one responds to my emo outbursts on the blog... i shall respond to urs :)u alr know most of this, but anw...
i've always kinda regarded myself as a sentimental person, n... i tend to feel things more strongly than most pple i know... in tt sense i'm the same as u yy! haha :)
but... when i think of jc... wad comes to mind is mostly depression n regrets la... n there's not much i miss abt depression! haha. of cuz all our memories i do rmb and i always will... if my memory should fail i keep a fairly detailed diary of it all, bu yao dan xin :)
but ya... it's all thots of trng, mugging n depression tt i immediately think of... so i sorta wish to leave it all behind n start a new life u know? seems kinda jue2 i know... but i realise i've always felt tt way everytime i leave sth... sec sch was liddat, pri sch i dun rmb :) but ya... other situations too... mebbe it's becuz i'm so used to frenships n bonds tt fade over time, tt i've become sorta practical... lyk wun really waste my feelings on pple whom i know i dun mean as much to as they mean to me... n i can't say tt in jc i've met a lot of pple whom i want to rmb forever... n i know it's becuz i really din try to get to know them better... ... tt is one of my greatest regrets...
another thing is i spent a large part of my time and energy obssessing over a stupid guy... HAIYO. this i regret becuz it diverted my energy which could've been used in other pursuits! (eg. being nicer to my frenz n family, pple who really care... see i complain abt pple not caring abt me as much as i care abt them, but i am SO guilty of tt too...) i think i would end up doing the exact same thing if it happened to me again, but i hope i'll be able to... eh. create more energy? try harder to make my life more fulfilling? haha. dunno leh!
i do know tt when i heard the sch song today it felt v... wah. lyk emo... :) u know i forgot how the sch song sounded lyk! n a bit regret tt i dunno how to sing becuz i nv did during flag-raising la! (n there jackie ang was singing at the top of his voice directly in front of me... :p)
n i sometimes wish i could haf one more year to fix things... ... ... n the only way to in a way haf another chance, is to look ahead lo...
cyn at 12:05 AM